How to (not) lose a guy in 10 games (A response)

So, the other day I was browsing Saturday Down South. One of my favorite college football blogs and usually a very good source of information and interesting reads. However, the other day I came across this. It's an article called "How to (not) lose a girl in 10 games" written by Chris Marler and it's about how to keep your girlfriend who is uninterested in football throughout a season of college football. It included lovely gems such as using pop culture references to keep her interested, watching a lot of The Bachelor with her so she'll feel obligated to watch football with you, and buying her cute outfits so she'll be more inclined to watch the games. I'm not going to read a lot into it because I know it's mostly for fun, but I have to admit I was a little insulted. Mostly because I'm a girl who loves and enjoys college football and who usually knows as much if not more than the dudes I watch it with. But again, I know it's just for fun.

So this article sort of gave me an idea. I thought I would write a response to it, because not all guys like football. I know a lot of guys that know nothing about sports and would rather do just about anything else than watch football. So here we go, here's my advice for all the college football loving babes out there who have a new boyfriend who doesn't know anything about sports.

How to (not) lose a guy in 10 games

Oh college football. How I have missed you. It's almost that time of year again ladies. The time when our Saturdays are monopolized by our favorite teams, and our friends text us asking when we'll be available for girls' night again (the quick answer is no Saturday soon).

But this year is different for me. This year I have a boyfriend. How could I have done this? How could I have let another man distract me from the most important men in my life, the ones on that football field. I didn't get a chance to study our recruits, I don't know what our defense is doing this year, all because my new beau just had to have that new motor for his truck. The things you do for love, right?

But I've had it. No more. I sat him down the other day and I had "the talk" with him. He has to know how deep my devotion for my team goes. It isn't "just a game" for me. It's life. I scream, I yell, I throw things, there is no other way. And then he tells me, "Babe, I'm not that into football."

I'm sorry, what? Not "that into" football? What does that even mean? My mind cannot comprehend. I mean I wish that was listed in his About Me section on OKCupid, I should have done my research on this guy. I mean how am I going to cram a lifetime of football knowledge into just a few short weeks? He says that he's willing to learn because it's something I love. Aww. Well I guess he's not so bad.

I'm sure I'm not the only woman with this problem, so I took the liberty of making a simple guide to help get your husband/boyfriend/number one slice in top form for the season.

1. Relate to things he likes

How does one fit so much information into such a small amount of time? I can't possibly explain to someone who just doesn't get it why I despise Nick Saban so much, or why toilet paper is part of my essential bag when heading to Jordan Hare. How can I explain Punt Bama Punt or the Kick Six...

Pop culture is definitely the way to go when explaining things like this to him. For example Alabama is like Tyler Durden in Fight Club while Auburn, and really the rest of the country, are like the unnamed narrator. We're all basically the same person, but one of us is crazier than the other and will probably kill the rest of us if given the opportunity.

Or you could go a little older than that and go with a Star Wars reference. Alabama is the Dark Side and Auburn is the Force. Of course if your alliance lies with other teams you could switch it up with your rival of choice. But you get the basic idea. Just tell him to pick a side and match it up.

2. Foundations

I personally believe the best way for you to get your love on your side for football season is with planning beforehand. It will get you a long way.

Go with him to that car show on your only off-day because that's what he really wants to do. Sit with him through yet another Godfather marathon because he says you missed a really important part the last time. Act like you really enjoy that Metallica song that he plays every single time you get in the car with him. Go with him to buy a new gun, and then tell him you totally think the AK47 is a better option for a home defense weapon than the Ruger 9mm handgun. Tell him he's handsome, cook him a nice dinner (even if you barely know the difference between a pot and a pan). He'll appreciate that you tried.

Then come football season he'll be more willing to sit with you on the couch and listen to you complain about how Alabama wins every single year even though they play a pansy schedule. Or how Urban Meyer must think the college football world is stupid if they believe he actually had "health problems" and wasn't just disappointed about losing Tim Tebow.

And if all that doesn't work tell him he can order Pizza Hut during the games and you'll spring for the bill. That should be enough to keep him hanging around for at least a few games.

3. Patience is a virtue

I know it's going to be difficult to sit there with him while he's breathing down your neck wondering what the difference is between a false start and encroachment. He's going to be confused as to why your quarterback just decided that the team wearing the other color jerseys are suddenly on your team and threw to them (admittedly we wonder the same things). But I cannot stress enough how important patience is when dealing with your beloved.

Ladies let's be real. When was the last time you asked your man a question about something he was interested in? If he's sitting there with his headphones on shooting aliens in the face during Halo or Call of Duty or whatever game that is, when was the last time you suddenly looked up from your phone because he was using the only TV in the house and suddenly developed an interest in what he was doing?

"Why did he do that?" "What is that for?" "What are you doing?? Run!!"

Yeah we've all done it. He doesn't want to take time out from his games, because everyone knows that you can't pause it (right?), and answer a hundred questions. And yet he does. Because he loves you.

So when he asks you for the 50th time what a draw play is or which one the running back is again just remember that you love him. Smile, pause live TV if you can, and answer the questions.

4. Show him the animals (no seriously)

Everyone loves animals. It's a fact of life. Dogs, tigers, horses, whatever Alabama's mascot is. Animals are awesome. So if he starts to get a little bored while watching your team destroy some small nothing junior college from a town of 350 people in northern Maine by 75 points you can intrigue him with stories of live mascots from around the college football world.

Tell him the story of Auburn's eagles and their majestic flights around the stadium at the beginning of the game. Or tell of LSU's live tiger Mike and his brave fight with cancer, that he sadly lost, but then tell him of the new tiger who stepped up to take his place. Show him the cute little Collie that sits on the sidelines for Texas A&M's games or either of the Bulldogs from Georgia or Mississippi State. Just remember to have backstories and origins on all of these animals, if you don't believe he's interested in backstories and origins check and see how many superhero movies he has in his collection. Guaranteed there's an origin story in there somewhere.

5. Gear him up

No guy likes to shop for clothes. But all guys like presents. So when you're out one day shopping for your next t-shirt to add to your ever-expanding t-shirt collection before the season, knowing full well that you're only going to wear the shirts that you were wearing during the Kick Six or the Camback (or Comeback whichever) on game days, remember to buy him a little something too.

You can't have him thinking that it's okay to wear opposing team colors, and let's face it if you didn't buy him new shirts he'd still be wearing the shirt from 6th grade that had Cookie Monster's face on it and said "Me Want Cookies" to his formal functions. So get him a few new tees that are comfy and still stylish in the team color's that you want to instill in him. If it's Auburn grab him some orange and blue, if it's Bama get him the crimson and white, if it's Ohio State tell him that it's time to break up because you don't need that kind of negativity in your life and never, ever spend your hard earned money on Buckeye gear. Otherwise any team is good.

6. Take away the drama

Now listen ladies because this might be the most important piece of advice I can give: guys hate drama. That's why they'll never understand dramatic movies or thoughtful documentaries about struggle or anything other than blood and guts and raw power. So take all that out of the equation. When Tom Rinaldi starts talking on Gameday switch it off. Change the channel to something else, preferably another college football program where they're recapping the previous week's injury count or something so he can see that football really is a hard-hitting, tough-as-nails, gritty, grimy sport.

Don't let the sweet story of the quarterback who started as a walk-on with a broken leg that never thought he would play on an actual team and worked his whole life for the opportunity to play football, working multiple jobs in high school just to pay for his equipment and camps because his mom was a single mom and his father was a bum who left them when he was 2 and now starts for a major university, ever get into his ears. If he gets wind that football can actually have an even slightly dramatic side other than touchdowns and injuries, he'll be out the door faster than you can say "Alabama just won another National Championship". Yep. That fast.

Ladies, the Tom Rinaldi specials are nice. But for the sake of the guy that you're trying to teach to love (or at least tolerate) the game of football, let's wait until he's good and invested before we spring those on him.

7. Food and friends

Ladies you ever see all those recipe things that pop up on Facebook for football season? Like the football shaped brownies, or the end zone made out of french fries, or the stadium made out of a cold-cut platter and cheese? Yeah well, forget those because we are not that extra and neither is your guy. Order like fifty pizzas, tell his friends to come over, get some beer or Cokes or whatever his drink of choice is and let him cut loose.

He'll be happy that he didn't have to buy lunch for a change, his friends can be there to hang out and keep him semi-occupied, and during halftime while his friends are passed out on the couches from all the pizza, you can give him some kisses and back rubs, pay him a little bit of attention so he knows you still love him, and then when the game starts back let him fall asleep in your lap while you enjoy the rest of the game. You can even throw in a few head scratches for good measure.

It may seem very basic but hey we work with what we have.

8. Get him into fantasy sports

If your guy is really into the tabletop games like Magic or Dungeons and Dragons or even if he likes those adventure type video games where you only play one character except in battles when you control eight and fight those really weird bird things with one eye, then teach him about fantasy sports.

Show him that building a fantasy team is basically like building a group for his D&D night. You have a quarterback, that's your fighter. The leader. Then you have your halfback and fullback those are your rogues. Your sneaks, the ones that skirt through the defensive line to the end zone. Your wide receivers are naturally your rangers, and your tight ends can be wizards or sorcerers, whichever you please. Then your offensive linemen are your barbarians, the tough guys. The opposing team's defense are the bad guys. The enemies. So build a team to cut through the bad guys. See?

I know it may seem complicated but your guy will definitely understand it better than you. You may have to explain the positions to him so he can accurately build a fantasy team to his standards, but that'll be worth to see him happily occupied and asking you which quarterback would make a better fighter Jalen Hurts or Nick Fitzgerald? Eh, maybe that's not the best example. Lamar Jackson maybe?

9. Skip a game 

Nah, we don't believe in that much sacrifice.

Magic Satellite on the Wall

The titles are getting worse the deeper into this I get. Last official post of my school semester but that doesn't necessarily mean anything. I intend to keep up with this thing, especially the closer we get to college football season. I missed a whole season with y'all, I feel like it's important to keep doing this stuff. Besides it's fun.

So for my last post I've decided to do my take on satellite camps.

It was Jim Harbaugh who really got the interest in these things. I think it was also Jim Harbaugh that made people question if satellite camps needed to be regulated since they seem to teeter on the verge of being out of control. Honestly it's really the SEC that complains about them. And it's because the SEC wants all the players to come to them and if Jim Harbaugh holds these fancy, schmancy camps and no one from the SEC schools show up, then what do they really have? I know that's not all there is to it, but I think that's mostly it. This article from CBS.com talks about an insider visiting the satellite camp held by Harbaugh and talking to him about exactly what it is. When Harbaugh was asked by the interviewer why he thought the SEC was upset about the camps he gave a pretty vague answer, "I've got an idea what it is. I'm confirming it. I want to confirm it first."

Mostly the people who were at said satellite camp said that the SEC won all the championships so why should they complain so much. Just let them have this. But I mean I guess I can kind of see where people like Nick Saban and Jeremy Foley, former Florida AD, can be upset. The camps have turned into more of recruiting stuff that goes unregulated by the NCAA. Instead since the NCAA doesn't really have rules on it they just make up rules as they go along and expect them to be followed. I don't really think that's fair, but at the same time if other coaches have recruiting rules that they have to follow, and they don't have these unregulated satellite camps, then I can see where the frustration is. But Harbaugh doesn't really seem to agree that the camps are for recruiting purposes as much as it is, in his words, "for the love of the game".

I'm sorry, but that's total and complete BS. Harbaugh may have a love and a passion for the game of football and for the kids that come to these camps. All of that may be entirely true, but if anyone, for one second, thinks that Harbaugh isn't also interested in how much this could help him and his team well that's crazy. It is basically all about being able to recruit in a roundabout way, and honestly the people who come to these things don't see it as an issue. If you read the comments from the families and the players who come to the camps, they all see this as a positive thing that comes to their communities and provides opportunities for kids to be seen when they otherwise might not have.

And who knows, these things may be awesome. And that's great, but does that mean that it's entirely fair to have them? Probably not. The coaches from the ACC and SEC can rejoice because the NCAA has new legislation on the table that deals with recruiting and the satellite camps in general. It would limit them to just a 10-day period in June which would suck for Harbaugh and most likely upset him, but it would make SEC and ACC coaches very, very happy. I don't see that as a fair compromise, to be honest. But the NCAA is not exactly known for their fairness and understanding, so we'll see what happens with it. You can read the full legislation stuff here.

Well, for the semester it's been fun college football fans, and my loyal dad who has read all of my blog posts every single time I've posted one. Thanks a lot dad! You're the reason I love football.

Keep returning fans, I'll be back.

Girl Power

Good morning college football fans, and dad. With just two blog posts left to fulfill my obligations for my class this semester I'm running out of ideas. The off-season is in full swing, and it's boring. I watched a baseball game yesterday. A whole baseball game. The worst part is that I enjoyed it. I'm having a rough time. Today though I'm going to talk about an interesting story that surfaced. You can read the whole thing here.

Basically it's about a girl named Becca Longo who became part of history the other day when she became the first girl to sign a letter of intent to play college football at a Division I or II school. She will play at Division II Adams State. She's also the first girl from Arizona to do so. Becca is a kicker and won the starting job at her high school, Chandler Basha, after her coach saw her boot a 42-yard field goal through the uprights. He says that he doesn't see it as her being a girl or coaching a girl, she competed and she won the job herself.

I've read about this girl before, and I love it. I know people have weird things about girls playing in "men's sports" but come on, get over it. If she wants to play and she can compete and she can be good, and she doesn't mind it, what does it matter to anyone else that she's a girl? I would be willing to bet that most of her teammates don't even notice that, they just see her as part of the team. Her coach asked his brother about how to coach a girl, his brother was an assistant coach at New Mexico when Katie Hnida was there. Katie was the first girl to score a point in a NCAA Division I college football game. She walked on at Colorado and transferred to New Mexico. Anyway his brother told him that "you don't coach a girl you coach a player".

Honestly I love that mindset. She isn't just a girl. Her biological sex doesn't define her. She can be a girl and also be a great football player. People don't look at dudes and go hey that guy is good for a boy. She should just be good because she's good. That's it. So you go Becca!

Arrested Development

Oh the glorious off-season. How I despise it and yet it does bring the stories that people enjoy. By that I mean all the college football players who simply cannot stay out of trouble long enough to make it to the next season. Frankly if I can make it the eight-plus months in between seasons without getting arrested on drug charges and or assault or otherwise, then so can they. So I'm going to recount a few of the most recent off-season woes for a few players as well as an honorable mention.

Baker's Dozen

Okay so he didn't actually have a dozen charges against him, I just like clever titles. Baker Mayfield, the rising Oklahoma quarterback who made quite a name for himself last season, was arrested in Arkansas back in February. He was arrested on charges of public intoxication, disorderly conduct, and fleeing and resisting arrest. So yeah not a dozen charges but still a little more than he should be getting. He entered his plea bargain in recently of not guilty. Yeah okay sure Baker keep telling yourself that. Whatever the case this is one of my favorite stories so far because Baker Mayfield has so much going for him, and yet he does something so stupid. I mean watch the video below of the amazing tackle that the police officer laid on him, even if Baker Mayfield wasn't doing any of the things he was arrested for, fat chance, that video will still live on. 

Jock Itch?

So this one was just hilarious to me. I mean at first reading the charges against Texas A&M sophomore wide receiver Kirk Merritt you just kinda shake your head. Two charges of indecent exposure. According to the report, basically he exposed himself to two female tutors a day or so apart. They both reported him and charges were filed. He entered a not guilty plea, that seems to be a recurring theme here, but his lawyer gave an interesting response when asked why his client exposed himself to these two women.

"Kirk Merrit has been charged with Indecent Exposure under Section 21.08 of the Texas Penal Code because of two incidents during tutoring sessions that happened on two consecutive days... While Kirk is very embarrassed about the situation, and has apologized to the two tutors that he offended, he did not intend to gratify anyone by exposing himself. The fact is that Kirk had a bad case of jock itch."

Okay first of all, it is embarrassing that he exposed his nether regions out in front of strange women, and it is embarrassing that he now is going to have indecent exposure on his record, but it's even more embarrassing that his lawyer admitted in open court on record the reasoning for this is because he had jock itch. 

Second of all, even if he did have jock itch why on earth did he not go to a bathroom and take care of it there?? Why did he feel the need to do that in front of people, and fully exposed? Stick a hand down there or something don't full on flash people. Good Lord. He didn't deny the charges, he's just not guilty. Yeah okay Kirk, keep telling yourself that. 

Honorable Mention

The honorable mention for this goes to Mississippi State's Jonathan Abram, who didn't get arrested or anything like that, instead he shut down his team's spring game because he knocked the lights out of his OWN TEAMMATE ILLEGALLY. No, yeah, he targeted his own player and knocked his block off, injuring him, and making Dan Mullen seriously peeved off. You can see the hit from this tweet below. 

This brutal hit by Jonathan Abram on Bennie Braswell ended Mississippi State's spring game early. pic.twitter.com/Yvlq3sJPIu

— William McFadden (@willmcfadden) April 8, 2017

Lord have mercy.  The game was called after this because it is an illegal hit that is blatantly against targeting rules, and normally there's no reason to hit this hard because you're playing against your OWN TEAM!! I mean I'm not sure if Jonathan Abram just forgot where he was or didn't care where he was or really hated the guy he smacked, but either way how stupid. He hasn't released a statement on it, but I'm pretty sure he'd say he wasn't guilty either. Yeah okay Jonathan, keep telling yourself that.

So that's it for today college football fans. I'm going to wrap up this semester soon, but hopefully I'll keep up with this thing. I have missed it. Until next time, probably tomorrow, bye!

Borrowed Content

It's finals week college football fans. That means I've got a little bit of time to fit an awful lot of content into. So I decided to borrow some content from a few people for today. Just until I can craft a better blog post. Here's some college football videos from last season to hold you over for a little while.

College Football Clutch//Game Winning Plays 2016/2017

College Football Pump Up 2017/2018

College Football Hard Hits 2016/2017

And of course:

College Football Fails 2016/2017

Hope this will hold you over for a little while until I can take some time to write a few new things. Enjoy college football fans! See you soon!

Baylor... Again.

Baylor. The most obnoxious program in college football. The one that the NCAA still isn't talking about. When the fact is that it's important that people keep talking about it because as long as people are still talking and still upset there's a chance that something might get done about it. So people need to keep writing articles and need to keep writing blogs because it might persuade people to look at this like it needs to be looked at.

Having said all that the reason that we're back discussing Baylor is because of this article. It's basically an article about how Baylor is moving to dismiss the lawsuit against them that alleges the 52 acts of sexual violence committed by over 30 Baylor football players and the culture of "selling sex" to recruits in order to get them to come to the university to play football. The dismissal is on the grounds of, according to the article, "as a general rule universities do not have a legal duty to protect their students from harm caused by other students."

Okay can we just talk about that for a second? First of all that's a pretty weak reason to dismiss a case with the allegations being what they are. The school doesn't have a legal duty to protect their students? Well the same argument could be made for literally anything else and people would be upset about it. If a school didn't have a severe weather plan people would be mad, especially if something happened and the school wasn't prepared and their students were harmed. See how stupid it sounds in this case. "Well the school doesn't really have a legal duty to protect students from harm of severe weather." That's how stupid this sounds. Schools do have a duty to protect students that pay money to attend their universities. And saying that they don't just seems like a cop-out.

Second of all, this seems like a poor attempt to get out of a lawsuit. It's not that like they're dismissing this case on the grounds of they found evidence to the contrary, they want to dismiss because they don't want to take responsibility for the safety of their students. That's basically what they're saying. And that seems to me like an admittance of guilt. This is an easy way to get out of the lawsuit, or so they think, and so, to me, it seems like they're saying, "Yeah we did this. Yeah we're guilty. But we don't really have to take care of the students who go here, so there's no reason we should be sued for this." That's sick.

Why would anyone want to go to a school that so flippantly says that they don't have to protect their students? Why on earth would someone say, "I trust my kid to go to that school." They openly said that they don't feel like they have to protect their students, which we all know translates to, "We will protect the important ones." Like the athletes who are responsible for all this. It makes me so angry.

The lawsuit was also filed on the basis of statute of limitations which had expired because in Texas statute of limitations for sexual assault is five years and Title IX is two years. Not that it would have mattered because Baylor mishandled the Title IX investigation anyway, even though there was no actual Title IX office at Baylor at the time, the school claims that there were plenty of avenues that could have been used to report it. You can go here to view a timeline of events at Baylor that show that the first sexual assault was reported in 2013 and that the Title IX office (or VP of Human Resources as it was known at the time) didn't know about it until 2015, conveniently two years later.

And all of this is a just a build-up to saying this: Why on earth isn't the NCAA or someone getting more involved in this? We punish schools and players for payments and for signing autographs and selling things with their name on it. We punish schools and players for a plethora of things, but we can't punish the school for doing something like this? Baylor needs to be punished. And the people involved in this need to be punished more. Because regardless of whether all of this is true or only some of it is true, Baylor is in the wrong. And if we just stand by and let all of this happen what does this say about us? It doesn't matter if there actually were 52 cases of rape and sexual violence, if there was only one case that is enough. Students shouldn't be afraid to go to school, they shouldn't have to worry that if something happens to them at the hand of other students that the school is going to cover it up and hide it so that the other "more important" students aren't harmed by the allegation. What about the victim? What about their life? What about them? And by Baylor saying that they don't have a legal obligation to protect their students it's like they're throwing the victim away. They don't matter. What matters to Baylor is protecting Baylor. And that's gross. If they had done what they were supposed to do they wouldn't be in this predicament in the first place.

Baylor needs to take responsibility for what happened, and they need to be punished accordingly. Someone needs to do something. This is isn't over, and as long as there are still things happening with it people need to keep talking about it. Because as long as people are still talking there's still a chance that something might be done to prevent it from happening again.

Hot Seat

Well it's another day college football fans. Not too much to talk about, off-season and all that, but I decided I would analyze an article about coaches on the hot seat this season that I read about this morning on CBS. You can read the whole thing here.

There are five coaches that this article lists and for the most part I completely agree with the people he listed. I think there are others, but let's discuss this first.

5. Kevin Sumlin/ Texas A&M

Oh yes. I mean let's be real here Kevin Sumlin has been on the hot seat for a while and that seat is only getting hotter with the passing seasons. He was hired prior to the 2012 season with Kliff Kingsbury as his offensive coordinator. The Aggies were 11-2 that year and it was probably the most excited that A&M fans have been in a while. It was the introduction of Johnny Manziel at quarterback, a Heisman trophy, a win over Alabama, and in the Cotton Bowl. It was a promising year. 2013 was 9-4, not as good, but still not shabby plus they won over Duke in the Chick-Fil-A bowl so people were still looking up. 2014, 2015, and 2016 have been 8-5 seasons. Conference play has been 3-5, 4-4, and 4-4. It's not getting any better for the Aggies, it's staying the same. They had quarterback trouble after Manziel got gone, and it just seems like Sumlin's time is running up. I imagine that A&M fans are tired of the same record year after year, I can think of another SEC team where that is also ringing true not to mention any names outright (Auburn), and they want something to change. Their schedule isn't exactly the most favorable. Four away games at Florida, at Ole Miss, and at LSU and UCLA plus a neutral site game against Arkansas. It is not going to be easy to turn it around unless they have some miraculous season. If I were Sumlin I would be keeping packed bags in the closet just in case.

4. Rich Rodriguez/ Arizona

Oh Rich Rod. Poor guy. All he wanted was a chance to coach Michigan. And that did not work at all. AT ALL. So he went to Arizona instead. Expectations aren't as high. 8-5, 8-5 and then his third season. Oh yes that third season. 10-4, winner of the Pac-12 South for the first time in school history, second 10-win season ever.They did lose both their bowl and the conference game against Oregon, but it's still an accomplishment. But 2015 was a disappointment at 7-6 overall and 3-6 in conference play. Not the follow-up season that Wildcat fans hoped for. Then it fell completely flat in 2016 with a 3-9 season and only one win in conference play against rival Arizona State. Rich Rod needs to get it together this year. Although the Pac-12 is doing much better overall than in previous years. Washington made it to the College Football Playoff, although they lost to Alabama 24-7, and they along with Stanford, Colorado, USC, and Utah were all ranked in the final Top 25 as opposed to only having three ranked the previous year. Arizona needs a decent turnaround, at least eight games, for Rich Rod to keep his job. I think they'd give him one more if he could pull an eight-win season.

3. Kliff Kingsbury/ Texas Tech

I honestly have no idea how Kliff Kingsbury has a job still, to be honest. He's 24-26 at Texas Tech and his best year was his first in 2013 with an 8-5 record a win in the Holiday Bowl against Arizona State. He garnered attention because he was the offensive coordinator at A&M when Sumlin's Aggies went 11-2 and the quarterback that Kingsbury coached, one Johnny Manziel, became the first freshman to win the Heisman. Plus he had played QB at Texas Tech back in the day. And he was going to be one of the youngest head coaches ever, he's only 37 now. But 4-8, 7-6, and 5-7 are not good follow-ups. It's like he keeps getting worse at doing what he's doing. He'll be lucky to keep his job another year, although in all honesty I don't know who they'll pick up if they don't want to keep Kingsbury. But hey, if he does lose his job he can always get a job as a model. I mean look at this guy:

This is a fan photo. Not like a headshot or anything. "Oh yes I just woke up with hair this perfect and smoldering eyes in black and white." Football coach, sure.

2. Brian Kelly/ Notre Dame

Ugh. Notre Dame. I really don't like Notre Dame. I think the only people that do are Notre Dame fans and Lou Holtz. That's really it. Every single year people are like yeah this is Notre Dame's year, they're gonna pull a Rudy and be miraculous and show everyone that they are it. They are THE team in college football. And then every year it's a lot of the same thing. Nothing. Plus Notre Dame is one of four teams that is Independent, which means they have no conference affiliation. They play teams from the ACC every year but otherwise no conference. Honestly Brian Kelly hasn't done all that bad as a coach. I mean it hasn't been the glorious recognition that Notre Dame fans would want, and there was that whole 12-0 regular season and BCS National Championship game that they proceeded to lose with a 42-14 stomping by Alabama. But Kelly really hasn't been awful until this past season. He's managed at least eight wins in each of the last seasons he's been part of. But 2016 was not good for the Irish. They were ranked in the first three weeks, but after two losses to both Texas and Michigan State they fell out of that around week four. They were 4-8 and to be fair they did beat both Miami who was 9-4 last year, shockingly, and Army who was 8-5. But the rest were losses that were just not good. I'm not sure I entirely agree that Kelly is on the hot seat. I mean yeah he hasn't had great years but they haven't been bad. He needs to turn it around next year. I mean like more than eight wins which I don't see happening. If that doesn't happen he probably won't be around for a ninth season.

1. Butch Jones/ Tennessee

Oh yes Butch. This one I completely agree with. Tennessee is expectation after expectation but nothing to show for it. People want Tennessee to do so well, and I really feel a little bad for them because they were trying so hard last year, but it just didn't happen. And for Butch Jones that has to be frustrating year after year having people be so hyped and so ready, and let's give credit to Tennessee fans they believe in Rocky Top, and then him not be able to do anything. They've had some bad luck with coaches since getting rid of Philip Fulmer, who I don't think should have ever been fired, what with Lane Kiffin running out on them and Derek Dooley just not panning out, I just don't think Butch Jones is the answer. He's been there since 2013 and is 30-21 overall and 14-18 in conference play. That's not good. They were 5-7 the first year and then 7-6 the next. There was a bowl win and Tennessee fans started to hope that maybe... just maybe. 2015 was 9-4. They were ranked in the final AP poll and second in the SEC East. They one the Outback Bowl against Northwestern. It was looking up. 2016 was the year. It was going to be the year. But it ended much the same. Second in the East with a 4-4 conference record, a win in the Music City Bowl against Nebraska, and a 9-4 record. Tennessee fans are holding onto hope that 2017 will be the year that they win the East and make a run for a championship. And maybe they will. But if Butch Jones can't pull the season together it will probably be his last.

Now let's talk my hot seat. Who do I think is the number one coach on the hot seat?

Rebekah's Hot Seat Pick: 
Gus Malzahn/ Auburn

I mean is this really a shock? I'm so tired of 8-5 seasons. So, so tired of them. I mean let's be real. Gus' first season after a 3-9 horrible, miserable season that I never want to relive, was a beaut. It was 12-2, we beat Alabama, we beat Georgia, oh the joy of beating our rivals. I miss that so much. We went to the National Championship game and couldn't quite hold off Jameis Winston, but I mean it was still something. We were riding high. And then 2014 happened. 8-5, 4-4 in the conference. Lost to Georgia, lost to Alabama. We stomped on LSU, so that was something but it didn't matter to me because we didn't win the ones that mattered. Plus we lost our bowl in OT to Wisconsin. Ugh. Better luck next year right? Nope. 2015. 7-6, bottom of the West 2-6 in conference play. Almost became another Ole Miss and let FCS Jacksonville State beat us the second game of the season! Quarterback trouble, messy playing, Only conference wins were Kentucky and Texas A&M. Sad losses to Georgia and Alabama because we can't do anything except kick field goals. So I looked to the 2016 season with high hopes. We had to be turning a corner sometime. Please, football gods let us turn a corner. 2016. 8-5. 5-3 in conference play. I mean to be fair we were second in the West behind 14-1 Alabama, who we lost to AGAIN, but it was only because the West was struggling last season. I was confident. I was. We lost two of our first three then won 6 in a row. Wow. What happened. Defense, decent playing. I was shocked. Then we lost to Georgia, Alabama, and Oklahoma in a Sugar Bowl we didn't deserve to go to. Our rival games, nothing. Our bowl game, nothing. I'm disappointed. I don't have much hope for Gus and I don't think that fans do either. We want him to do well, but it's not happening. One more 8-5 season and that will be it for Gus.

Well so that's my analysis of the CBS article, plus my own personal critique. I'm looking forward to next season, mostly so I'll have things to write about. Until next time college football fans, and dad!